So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
