You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
