I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
operation have a gay friend backfired
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
