Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
