I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
