): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
