3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
