Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There are leaves in my underwear?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
