It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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