Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As shirtless as possible
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
