so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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