I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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