I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
