i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
