When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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