She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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