it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
