Barsexuality is the new black.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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