You really coming over, don't trick.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
