We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
