So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
