$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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