Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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