My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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