I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
