Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
