I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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