I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
