There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
