It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
