I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
