I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
