Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
