I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
