I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
