Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I party with great urgency now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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