I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
