it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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