is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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