i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
