I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
