The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
