Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
