Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
