You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
