worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My Higher Power is John Stamos
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
