I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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