don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
