Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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