This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
