I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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